Monday, November 26, 2007

Excuse me are you a model?

There was a feature in the weekend papers that piqued my interest and I'm sure that of many parents. It was an article about child models and how they can make up to $3000 per assignment. Even average-looking kids can be models, it said. Wah, $3000 per assignment... [drool drool]... Actually such articles have appeared in the papers and magazines in the past and each time I would consider getting the girls to model and earn some money. But I never got round to sending their pictures in and also I would be thinking what are their chances?

I asked the girls if they would be interested to model and earn some dough. Tai Pi was not keen but Pumpkin and Sai Pi on the other hand started strutting their stuff. Awkward poses and exaggerated facial expressions aside, maybe they stand a chance, especially Pumpkin with her father's strong cheekbones. See these recent pictures taken with my MacBook.


Sai Pi at the dentist

It happened so fast. Her teeth were fine and then suddenly there was decay on her front teeth, forming a noticeable black dot where the two teeth met. I chided myself for not taking better care of her teeth. The decay was pretty obvious and Sai Pi was sometimes quite self-conscious about it. Well I finally brought her to the dentist to see what could be done about it. I thought she might freak out at the clinic but she took to it very well, smiling and laughing as she made herself comfortable on the chair. And at the end of it, the "black black thing" as she used to call it, was gone, with nothing now to tarnish her pretty smile. Say "Cheese" Sai Pi!




Saturday, November 17, 2007

At least the expats have a choice...

In TODAY's weekend edition, there is an article written by an expat mum who placed her kids in a local school only to pull them out and enrol them in an international school a few years later. See below. The article raised the question, "What kind of educational system best prepares children for today's challenges?" I don't have an answer to that but what I feel is important for my kids is to develop creative thinking and good communication skills. I'm not sure the local education system with the high student teacher ratio and emphasis on academics provides the right environment for students to cultivate the habit of speaking up nor develop an opinion about specific topics. And if the classroom provides for effective learning, why is it so many kids of normal intelligence are having private tution? If a child fails to understand a lesson or does not have a love for learning, is it a problem with the child or a problem with the system?

Like the writer, I was hopeful about changes to the local education system but I realise now that MOE's ambitions are one thing and implementation is quite another. Whether the local education system would ever sort itself out is anybody's guess. As for me and my girls, we are not sticking around to find out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SCHOOL EXPERIMENT THAT FAILED

Weekend November 17, 2007

How will their kids fare in a local school? One expat mum finds out
Noelle de Jesus

THOSE who had watched the international schools defeat some of the best local schools in televised debates earlier this year found much to discuss across their dinner tables and at cocktail parties.

The key question: What kind of educational system best prepares children for today's challenges?

For my husband and I, these discussions took place much earlier. When we moved here eight years ago, our major concern was how best to educate our daughter and son - Filipinos carrying United States passports, now permanent residents of Singapore.

We wanted strong academics, of course, but we also wanted them to be life-long learners with confidence, creativity, responsibility, self-respect and awareness of the world. Neither did we want them to be set apart from the youth of the country which we had chosen to make our home.

Seeing groups of expat teenagers skateboarding in the youth park off Orchard Road, I sensed alienation and a lack of belonging. Somehow they seemed cut off from society. We did not want this for our children.

So we sent them to local schools. We were aware of the strengths of the school system - the solid foundation in science and mathematics and the remarkable self-discipline that would be so efficiently instilled.

We had read of a few foreign students who had emerged triumphant from local academic rigours, securing admission into fine universities abroad.

But we also understood potential pitfalls - the largely authoritarian system, the single-minded rote approach to learning and the high student-teacher ratios.

Many raised eyebrows at our choice. A colleague at work said: "You have a choice, why put them through that?" She spoke of the way the system can kill the joy of learning, the ability to think "out of the box".

But we had taken to heart the news that the Ministry of Education (MOE) was slowly but surely changing the system. It was allowing the teaching of simplified Chinese, establishing support for more creative as well as more critical thinking, and promoting the arts and sports. Anything else our children needed, we figured we would be able to provide at home. We were hopeful.

After sending them to a local Montessori pre-school, we found ourselves living 1km away from two of the best primary schools, one for girls and one for boys. That single kilometre was critical. Our son went through the ballot, but they both made it.

Our first frustration was foreign language learning. Anxious that they learn Mandarin, we (and they) quickly found it was next to impossible in the local system, due to the pace and depth of the classes - classes that proved too difficult even for Singaporean students.

I soon discovered that all the students in my daughter's class were taking extra Chinese lessons. As one tutor said: "Children don't learn mother tongue at school; they learn it from their tuition."

With no Mandarin background, my children tuned the classes out; the rote system of learning did not work.

"Why can't they take Mandarin as a foreign language?" I asked an MOE administrator. There was no ready answer. Instead, my children were invited to take French, German or Japanese.

When my daughter told me she had to prepare for her science exam, I told her to study her textbook. She replied: "There's nothing in the book."

The girls were told to "read on their own"; what to read was not specified. Later, I found out parents bought old science exam papers for their daughters to study from.

I also found the rather quantitative methods used in my kids' English classes highly suspect. If my daughter tried her hand at a complex sentence with modifying phrases and she made a mistake, the entire sentence was marked incorrect and points were taken off. This made her decide to stick with easy noun-verb sentences.

As for my son's compositions, they were edited subjectively. His quirky, still grammatical sentences were red-penned and in many cases, falsely labelled incorrect.

But the high teacher-student ratio - 1 teacher to 40 students - proved to be our utmost concern. It rendered the simplest dynamics of question-and-answer explanation difficult to say the least. In the boys' school especially, teachers struggled to maintain order, let alone teach.

My son, a square peg in a round hole, was labelled a trouble-maker for inquisitiveness. The reputation followed him from Primary 1 to Primary 2.

One day, his teacher called me to report him as "the mastermind" of some class bullying, saying his own friends had fingered him as the culprit.

When I spoke to my son, he denied he was solely responsible, saying: "What's the point of saying I'm not; they'll all say it's me, anyway. So I just took the punishment."

When we heard this, all our doubts crystallised in one decision. Despite all our hopes, this wasn't working for him. Creativity, language, even writing - we could teach ourselves. But we felt unequal to the task of constantly undoing daily institutional damage to his self-esteem. And we had no desire to fight the system.

We withdrew both children from their schools and placed them in an international school.

There, they could at least learn Mandarin as a foreign language. They would be able to have a real relationship with their teachers, enjoy inquiry-based learning and be encouraged to express themselves. They would each be in a class with no more than 25 students and that ratio would only make things better all around.

It is by no means perfect. No education system is. And we were disappointed that our experiment failed.

Cost, of course, is one issue. To pay the price equivalent to that of a small diamond, when once we paid the price of an apple for a year's schooling, will not be easy.

We also continue to seek opportunities for our children to interact with other Singaporean children, grateful they have maintained some of the friendships they forged at their old schools.

But on his first day at the new school, my son told me he had the best day of his life. My daughter came to me and thanked me for moving her. "Here," she confided, "I feel like I am learning something every day." How can you argue with that?

At the end of the day, the root problem of the local school system is the high teacher-student ratio which demands more control from the teacher and gives the students less opportunities for variation.

Many foreign families make it by dint of playing the game we did not play: Filling the children's time with extra classes, buying old exam papers and willingly allowing their children's uniqueness to be efficiently rubbed off so that they could fit themselves neatly into the system's uniformly round holes. We did the only thing we could do.

At least, you can't say we didn't try. And it was a learning experience.

Ultimately that's what education should be about.

Noelle de Jesus is a freelance editor and writer who believes parents
should be responsible co-educators of their children.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

What a girl wants

The girls brought home their report books today. Needless to say, they were not a pretty sight. I looked at Pumpkin's report card and tried to focus on the good points. "Oh look. You have so many As - A for Music, Art & Craft, Social Studies, Moral Education...." Nevermind the band 3 for English and Math and band 2 for Chinese.

Tai Pi's grades were no better and as I searched for some bright spots, I found this comment written by her teacher - "...keen learner who knows what she wants." My Tai Pi knows what she wants?!

I turned to Tai Pi : Your teacher says you know what you want. Really? So what do you want?

Tai Pi : Yes, I know what I want. I want a Gameboy, a X-Box 360, a Wii......

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Like No Other

Recently, LKY was asked by a Western reporter if he felt that the Singapore education system tended to produce conformists. LKY answered that our education system is rated one of the top in the world and produces clever people, etc, etc. Not sure how that answers the question but anyway, talking about non-conformists,Tai Pi is showing signs of being her own person and a cheeky one at that...

Yesterday, we were having pizza for dinner and Tai Pi ate two slices leaving the crust behind. KK told her to eat up the crust.
KK: "See, your sister ate the whole pizza. All of us ate the crusts. You are the only one not eating the crust."
Tai Pi: "I am not you, you are not me. You have detached ear(lobes), I have attached ear(lobes)."
But KK didn't buy her argument and everyone, attached and detached earlobes alike, had to eat up the crusts.

A while back, I was commenting to Tai Pi that if she continues to have such a slim (can't use the word "skinny"; it gets her all upset) waist, it would soon be impossible for her and Pumpkin to share clothes (which they do now despite the 2 year age gap) and so could she maybe fatten herself up a little.
She retorted, "I like myself the way that I am. I like the height that I am, I like the weight that I am."
Here is a 9-year-old reminding me that we should all be comfortable in our own skin.
And Tai Pi, Mummy likes you just the way you are too.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

"Daddy"

I am of the view that being a good communicator is one of the key success factors in life. While it is possible to be eloquent without being particularly good in any language, it certainly helps to have a strong grasp of at least one language. So I am quite bothered that the girls speak quite a bit of Singlish, but now and then Tai Pi would surprise me as she did yesterday when she displayed an appreciation of some subtle nuances of the English language.

The girls were watching High School Musical (showing for the upteenth time on Disney Channel) and one of the characters called his father "Dad".

Tai Pi: "He called his father "Dad". I prefer to call Daddy "Daddy". It makes me feel like a little girl. Saying "Dad" makes me feel old and I don't want to be old and die".

Me: "When you grow up, are you still going to call Daddy "Daddy"?"

Tai Pi: "Yes." Turns to KK, "Hello Daddy!"

Tooth Fairy

Last year, Pumpkin told me that the mother of one of her friends, Kris, was the Tooth Fairy. Her friend had caught her mother taking her tooth from under the pillow and putting a coin in its place. Since then, everytime the girls drop a tooth, I would joke with them that Kris' mother would be coming by that night since she was the Tooth Fairy. Pumpkin would then explain to me "No, she is only Kris' Tooth Fairy. You are our Tooth Fairy," and I would feign ignorance and say "But you said that Kris' mother is the Tooth Fairy".

Well, I don't think I make a very good Tooth Fairy because I keep forgetting my Tooth Fairy duty till the next morning when I wake the girls up for school and get a disappointed "the Tooth Fairy didn't come last night". Then I would grab a dollar from my wallet and try to sneak it under the pillow. Better late than never.

Pumpkin kept the Tooth Fairy busy recently when her front teeth dropped off, one just before her birthday and one just after. She's looking so cute now with the missing front teeth.

2-Day Birthday

I remember at Pumpkin's first birthday, she fell asleep just when everyone was singing happy birthday and Tai Pi ended up with the privilege of blowing out the candles for her. Now 6 years later, she again went to sleep during her birthday party. But you could hardly blame her. The adults had left the kids with a couple of pizzas while we went off for a nice Japanese dinner. By the time we got back, Pumpkin had gone to bed. So we had to have a part 2 to Pumpkin's birthday celebration. After Taekwondo class the next day, the kids came by for pinata and cake, with Pumpkin wide awake this time. Here's a nice picture of the girls and their friends. Happy birthday Pumpkin!

Friday, May 25, 2007

The Spelling Necklace

When Tai Pi entered primary school two years ago, Pumpkin was eager to join her and often asked when it would be her turn. So when she finally started primary school this year, she was a happy little bird and everything seemed fine and well. But just a few weeks into the school term, I received a call from her teacher, telling me that Pumpkin was moody and had dozed off in class at times, and was writing bizarre words in her compositions. At the same time, I heard from Tai Pi as well as the teacher at the After School Care Centre that Pumpkin had been throwing tantrums when asked to learn spelling and she was also taking a much longer time to learn to spell a word compared to the other kids. I hadn't been checking Pumpkin's schoolwork so all this came as a surprise to me. What was most disturbing was the news about her temperament and behaviour; it seemed so out of character for Pumpkin.

Around that time, she also started showing signs of intermittent depression. Every morning when we dropped her off at school, she would be sulky and looking like she was headed for the slaughter house. It really broke my heart to see her sad little face. Everyday, she would say that she did not want to go to school, that the work at school was too hard for her, and like working adults with the Monday blues before the start of the work week, she would feel moody on Sunday evenings. It seemed the source of her unhappiness was mainly spelling. She had a fear of spelling that seemed almost irrational and I found it really odd that she did not seem as anxious about other tests and subjects even though she wasn't doing well in those either.

It was then that KK and I started helping Pumpkin to learn her weekly spelling words. The first time I sat down with her, I was in for a shock. It took like half an hour for her to learn to spell a short word and even then, it didn't seem to stick in her mind. It was then that I put all the pieces together and realised that Pumpkin could be dyslexic. Not that I knew much about dyslexia but I did know that dyslexics have a problem with reading and writing, and Pumpkin could not read and she was definitely having problems writing. She had also shown signs of mirror writing in the past but I had chosen to ignore it; perhaps I was in denial. I surfed the net for information on dyslexia and based on what I found out, I was pretty sure that Pumpkin was dyslexic. I felt distressed at first but that quickly gave way to relief because now we knew the root of the problem and could do something about it.

Having read that dyslexics learn better through a multi-sensory approach, I bought pipe cleaners with the intention of bending them to form letters to string into words to help Pumpkin with spelling. It was quite time consuming working with the pipe cleaners so I used a combination of letters made from the pipe cleaners, and magnetic letters, the 3D sort that toddlers stick onto the fridge. What I got Pumpkin to do was to arrange the letters to form words and run her finger on the letters so that she not only sees the words but "feels" them as well.

But the pipe cleaners would help Pumpkin in another most unexpected way....

Tai Pi, the aspiring jewelry designer, created a necklace with the pipe-cleaners and presented it to Pumpkin, declaring it to be a "spelling necklace", a kind of charm that would help Pumpkin with spelling. Pumpkin put it on and it seemed to work (or was it the multi-sensory method I was trying out). "Thank you Jie Jie for the necklace. It's making me better," Pumpkin said to Tai Pi.

The next day, the most dreaded day of the week for Pumpkin because of the weekly spelling tests, Pumpkin tried to put on her Spelling Necklace and hide it under her blouse but upon Tai Pi's advice attached it to her schoolbag instead where she could see it and it would work its magic. I don't remember if she did alright for that particular spelling test but I'm sure the necklace at least gave her some comfort.

These days, Pumpkin no longer dreads school because she has since made some good friends after the teacher switched her sitting position in class. Although she still says that she doesn't want to go to school and that she hates spelling, at least this only happens occasionally now. And the Spelling Necklace now lies somewhere on Pumpkin's bed together with her treasured stuff toys.

Just recently, we finally had her assessed by a psychologist at the Dyslexia Association of Singapore after a long wait for an appointment and confirmed that she has dyslexia. We will have to send her for therapy so she can learn to cope with the condition. I'm sure Pumpkin will be fine - she has the benefit of early intervention, the love and support of her family... and a magic Spelling Necklace.


Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Money money money

There were two articles in last Sunday's papers that caught my attention. The first was a feature on successful hawkers who run famous stalls. The article was written in the light of recent news that the tax man had come after some hawkers who evaded tax, one of whom earned $4 million in 6 years but declared only half the earnings.

The journalists staked out the stalls and did a plate count and going by the count, woohoo, some of these hawkers pulled in more than $100,000 a month!!! Not bad, not bad at all!!!! But it's so hard being a successful hawker you know, not easy you know.... Just listen to what these hawkers had to say - "I don't even have time for my meals", "As a hawker, no day off, no weekends and you have to stand in front of the hot wok the whole time. You tell me, is that easy?" BUT YOU ARE YOUR OWN BOSS RIGHT?!!! YOU MEAN YOU CAN"T CLOSE YOUR STALL AND GO ON HOLIDAY MEH?!!! IT"S YOUR CHOICE TO WORK THESE MANY HOURS AND EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR, SO WHO"S THE SLAVE DRIVER HERE?!!! Pity the less succcessful hawkers. They are the ones who have to work long hours and every single day to make a decent living and feed their families. And lest you think the grass is greener on the other side, instead of standing in front of a wok all day, try sitting for hours in front of a computer, dealing with crazy deadlines and endless problems.

The second article was about puting aside funds for your child's university education. It said that in 15 years' time, the cost of a local university education would be $81,000 and the cost of getting a degree in Australia, including living expenses, would be $341,000. No problem here for some hawkers, but for the rest of us, it's going to take some serious financial planning. I can't imagine how I would be able to fork out that much money and times three. When I pointed out the article to KK, he had the perfect solution - the girls can just be hawkers lah!!!!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Sai Pi at the Salon

Of all the 3 girls, Sai Pi has the least hair.. very thin and fine and taking forever to grow to a decent length. I've been reluctant to cut her hair, but now that her hair is past shoulder length, I thought it would be good to give it a proper trim. I had wanted to cut it to chin length but at the last minute, decided on a wishy-washy, neither-here-not-there shoulder length. Given that Sai Pi has so little hair, I probably could have cut it myself but instead I brought her to the salon where Tai Pi and Pumpkin have their haircuts. Her sisters have experienced salon treatment and now it is Sai Pi's turn. She looked so full of bliss when having her hair washed, you'd think she was at the spa.

Ah, shiok...

Snip, snip...

So pretty...

Kids at Work


As any working mother can testify, it is not easy balancing work and kids. It gets worse when the kids learn to use the telephone and call you ever so often at the office. The calls get heavier in the evening on days when I work late and do not stop even when I'm on my way home.

The calls typically go like this:
Pumpkin: "Where are you?! When are you coming home?!"
Me: "Daddy just picked me up. We're on the way home but we'll take some time because Mummy's office is far from home."
Pumpkin: "OK, bye."
One minute later...
Pumpkin: "Where are you?! How come you're not home yet?!"

So when the office organised a bring-your-kids-to-work day, I jumped at the chance to show the girls what it means when Mummy is at work. They were brought around the office and introduced to various office equipment, went on a plant tour where they saw chocolate milk being manufactured, and Tai Pi also sent an email to Kong Kong from my laptop. In between, they had ice cream, did some drawing in the meeting room and played hide-and-seek among the cubicles.

I have not asked the girls what they learnt about Mummy's work (maybe nothing at all) but at the very least, Pumpkin now knows how far from home my office is and why it takes Mummy so long to get home. And I learnt there's one thing more distracting than having your kids call you every 5 minutes... having them right there in the office with you!!!


Look, Mummy's office is so fun.... there's ice cream to eat and white board to draw on... wah, work is so fun!!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Big girl now


“I’m a big girl now.” That’s one of Sai Pi’s favourite lines of late. She thinks that being in the second year of Nursery and having her classroom on the second floor makes her a big girl. And now that she has turned four, she’s feeling all the more grown up. Happy Birthday Sai Pi!

Birthday card from big sister:

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Happy New Year of the Pig!!!


Each Chinese New Year, we have fewer and fewer people to visit and this year, we hit a record low of only one visit on the first day of Chinese New Year, leaving us with plenty of time on our hands. So we went to the Asian Civilisation Museum. Unfortunately the girls didn't appreciate the museum very much, which was not surprising since it was not quite child-oriented so we didn't stay as long as I would have liked. The best part of the museum visit for the girls was sitting on the entrance steps of the museum and enjoying $1 ice cream bought from the street hawker - very good value I think, only $1 and they enjoy it maybe as much as those premium ice cream we treat ourselves to at the malls.

And earlier in the day, we enjoyed a ride in Uncle P's new Opel Combo. Such a very cute vehicle!!! Here's a photo of the girls in the comfortable sofa backseat. Happy Chinese New Year Everyone!!!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." - Picasso

"I already know how to draw" was Tai Pi's answer to me when I asked if she would like to go for art lessons. Pumpkin, who aspires to be an artist, had asked to be enrolled for art classes and I thought it would be a good idea for all three girls to go since they all love to draw and paint.

With art school on my mind, I walked about a neighbourhood mall which has many enrichment centres for kids, and I came across a new art studio "where children's voice find a place in art", a studio that respects children's unique ways of looking at things. The studio is run by a lady who believes that every child is an artist but that children often have their in-born artistic talent killed by art teachers who dictate what a beautiful piece of art should look like. I hadn't thought about this before but it made a lot of sense to me. Would Salvador Dali have produced the sort of surrealistic art he did if his art teacher told him it looked odd and wasn't beautiful? Each great artist has his own style and that's what I feel is important - for the girls to develop their own unique artistic style and produce art pieces that are truly original.

And now I realise why the art pieces you see at children's art competitions are always so alike. But of course... those kids go to art school where they are taught - here's how you draw a girl, here's how you draw a horse, etc. Take a look at these two drawings of an ox by two different kids attending the same art school. Don't they look suspiciously similar? I suppose that's what teacher says an ox looks like and should be drawn. I must say the drawings are competent in the sense of being aesthetically pleasing but they are not original and are not a true expression of the children's perception of the world.



The girls have gone for three lessons so far, where they are taught techniques and introduced to different media but are not told what to draw or how they should draw or what media they should use. I'm really glad to have found this art studio that nurtures the artist in the child. And yes Tai Pi, you are right - you do already know how to draw!




Saturday, January 06, 2007

Goodbye 2006 Hello 2007

It's been quite a while since my last post. We have been busy with what must be the event of the year for us - the big move to our new home! We've been living here for a few weeks now and we absolutely love it - no more taking the elevator, yummy food at our doorstep, schools and shops nearby. I just have to keep my fingers crossed that this place doesn't fall victim to the enbloc craze.

Other recent happenings:

Tai Pi took part in her first Taekwondo tournament. She didn't win a single match but got a silver anyway. She had a walkover in the first round and with that she made it to the finals where she was up against a girl three years older and one head taller. Now she was supposed to compete against other 7-8 year old green/blue belts (Tai Pi is actually a green tip but entered the tournament as a green belt) but somehow ended up facing an 11 year old. Despite that, Tai Pi was full of courage and stood her ground and tried her best to execute some kicks. But because of the big height (and leg length) difference, her opponent easily kicked her over and over and with such force that Tai Pi literally flew up with each kick. Still, Tai Pi managed to maintain her balance and didn't fall to the ground nor did she retreat. Half a minute into the match, Tai Pi's coach stopped the match to keep Tai Pi from being kicked to a pulp. After that, Tai Pi cried in pain for about 10 minutes. I thought she was just psychologically traumatised but she was in real physical pain having had the wind knocked out of her. But she was fine after a while and was very pleased to receive the silver trophy which I think she fully deserved for her bravery. In fact. the overaged girl should have been disqualified and the gold given to Tai Pi!!!

We hosted our first sleepover. We had the usual gang over for Christmas and the kids stayed the night and walked to Taekwondo class the next morning. The girls received all the Christmas gifts they wanted and the fun continued till New Year's Day when they went bowling with their friends. I think it is really clever how bowling alleys now have bumpers so that when kids (or adults!) bowl, the ball doesn't go into the gutter. But even that doesn't always help. Watch the video of Pumpkin and see how she doesn't let the bumpers get in her way.





After the year end festivities, it was back to school for the girls. While some other kids might have been dreading it, Tai Pi and Pumpkin were really excited. For Pumpkin, this was especially so since she was entering primary one. I think I'm the one dreading the new school term, what with having to keep an eye on their school work, and now not just one but two of them! argh!!! Other than that, I think it's going to be a very good 2007 as we settle into our new home and enjoy this lovely neighbourhood. Happy New Year 2007 everybody!!!