So what were we doing instead? Tai Pi made a birthday card for a friend, the girls made jewelry boxes and in the afternoon we enjoyed a chocolate fondue with marshmallows. I also made this box thingy using a cereal carton, a button, ribbon and a piece of cord. It looks pretty good, doesn't it? but I'm not quite sure what to use it for.
So you see, there are so many better things to do than to study and I have too little discipline to follow the timetable (which I had set myself and it's a pretty unambitious one for that matter). So instead, I will be realistic in my expectations of Tai Pi and of myself. I will accept myself the way I am. The fact is that I hate homework and I never enjoyed studying. I realise now that those times when I turned into a monster while coaching Tai Pi, I was probably feeling resentful of having to deal with school work. And it really wouldn't be fair for me to demand more from Tai Pi than I demand of myself. So now I resolve to put in just enough effort for Tai Pi to achieve fair enough grades and the rest of the time, we will spend on activities that we really enjoy and which will give the girls happy memories of their childhood. There, I feel better already.
4 comments:
My mother's contribution to our studies was to teach us how to read (thanks, Ma!) and then shake her head sorrowfully when we came home with 99% test scores ("careless mistake!") - and I got to Oxford and my sister to Imperial College - so my feeling is that frenzied and resentful parental involvement in maths homework is not necessary to have your kids do well. I think the general home environment and high parental expectations are more important.
You are heading in the right direction. There is really nothing to worry about if Tai Pi makes a few mistakes here and there. Just ask her now and then if she understands what was being taught in school and if she doesn't, that's when you coach her. My kids come home with homework which I leave to them to complete, unless they ask me for help. I'd just give a surprise check to see what they've been doing. The only thing that I really spend time doing with them is reading, which I feel is the most important way of learning.
I remember one of my brothers saying that it is better not to pressurise the kid too much. It may have undesirable effects if the kid resents school work instead. I think he is right.
As in everything we do, I always believe there's no need to be too serious and be too hard on ourselves. Just do what is possible and always have a balance (like what you did with her.)
Thanks I feel more assured now. There are so many kiasu parents who push their kids and give them extra lessons, sometimes I lose my senses and wonder if I'm doing too little for the girls. But then I think well if it makes them happy to be so kiasu then so be it, I don't have to join the rat race.
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