Am I too bo chap or are some parents in Singapore too involved in their children's lives? Today's newspapers had a letter from a reader writing in to say that the Ministry of Education should provide more information to help parents and students in their decision-making in regards to the choice of junior college.
You can read the full letter here.
I might be wrong but from the letter, I picture the writer to be a high strung control freak of a parent. Here is an excerpt from the letter:
"Helping your child choose a new school, in this case a junior college (JC), is a stressful process.
It is a balance of knowing her abilities and the right JC for her. When our daughter did reasonably well in her O levels, we thought she might have a chance of getting into the top JCs. We were also concerned that the order of her choices might be a factor in her final posting.
We therefore pored through the Ministry of Education (MOE) information booklet and called the hotline."
Isn't a 16-year-old fully capable of choosing a school for herself? I can just imagine it - this 16-year-old (my grandma was married at 16, for heaven's sake) sitting there while her anxious parents sweated over the information booklet (what, she illiterate?).
It's so tough you know, choosing a school for our baby. So many to choose from - 15, yes 15 junior colleges! Of course it is a much smaller number than the hundreds of primary schools and secondary schools that we had to pick from for our precious darling (oh, I can't begin to tell you the stress we experienced then), but still, it is a tough decision because the 2 years she spends in junior college could make or break her entire life you know so there's simply no room for mistakes.
Oh puh-lease!
When I was 12 years old, I made my own choice of secondary school and so did my friends. Same thing after the "O" levels and "A" levels. Pa only offered some advice at best; didn't pore over any information booklets, didn't call any hotlines. In having the freedom to make my own decisions, I learnt to be independent and to have confidence in my own judgement, and to accept the consequences of any mistakes or poor decisions I made.
And I thought a parent's duty was to bring up their child. Looks like some parents want their children to remain in their care forever - "you'll always be my little baby." Yeech!
4 comments:
Real jokers, some parents really are, aren't they?
Coincidentally, we have an advertisement on TV about doting parents with only son. The son is in secondary school (a teenager)and the mother baths him, helps put on his school uniform and spoon feeds him before both parents sends him right to the gate of the school. Then hands him his pocket money for the day. Big question by the advertiser, "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LET YOUR CHILD GROW UP???"
The advertiser then suggests that the parents give the boy a CASH CARD from from XXXBank for him to use rather a restricted amount of cash everyday.
Of course, happy ending. They boy is so happy to be given a cash card that he started to dance with joy. At last,he feels that he's grown up enough to at least handle a cash card.
I laugh each time I see this advertisement because it's so funny to see the parents (both) giving the big boy (almost as tall as the father) a bath in his old baby bathtub and the mother spoon feeding him.
I'm so glad that I've brought up three totally independent and self-responsible children to say the least, lest I sound like boasting. I'm really proud to have 3 wonderful children to the envy of many of my golf 'kakis'.
I think some parents are just TOO involved. But if the teen was brought up all along being spoon fed and closely guided, I don't think he or she can make a choice on his/her own. I wonder how the teen can grow up making decent judgements in future. One of my colleague's daughter is like that. Everything is dependent on the mummy. That's why my colleague said that her daughter can only be a follower, not a leader.
Yup, I remember choosing my own sec and college, etc. My parents really bo chap.
kong kong: That ad sounds so funny! I laugh just imagining it! Thai ads are really good, unlike the crap we have here.
sesame: Maybe that's why there are more followers than leaders in Singapore. People here used to being told what to do. And maybe that's why the birthrate here is so low - many adults are really still children, unable to take care of themselves, can't expect them to have children.
I feel sorry for the children of such parents. When I had to choose my own secondary school, I didn't have to think hard - just go to the one closest to our home! Afterall, school is school to me. I have to work hard myself if I want to succeed. No regrets!
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